The Crystal Chronicles
A word on the Crystal Chronicles . . .
It isn't easy growing up different. I should know. But it
does imbue one with a sense of intuition and compassion that
helps to understand humanity in a way that ordinary, "non
sufferers" cannot. I mean that's why I got into this business.
That's why I carried on after they laughed me out of journalism
school. That's why I can carry on despite being dateless for,
ahem, some years. Just because I'm psychically gifted does
not mean I'm asexual.
Many people have asked: "What the hell?" about how I'm able
to sally forth in the face of such tremendous odds and setbacks.
"By restoring and replenishing my aura," say I. I do this
on a daily basis and highly recommend it to anyone who is
sensitive and has special gifts.
How do I do this? Well, I stare at a glass of water for at
least two hours until it changes color. Then I drink the newly
colored - usually magenta - liquid. Then I internalize the
color magenta and free associate - what does magenta put me
in touch with? The tropics. Hibiscus flowers and a lovely
cabana boy called Juan who puts me in touch with . . . never
mind. You can see how this exercise can be restorative.
I often don't have time to do this when I'm working on a
project. Which brings me to my point: have you seen my award-winning
documentaries? They are a must see for anyone. But, like I
said, I don't often have time to replenish sufficiently when
I am working on them. Besides, sometimes, if I sit still too
long, I start intercepting the voices of my subjects. Here
are some examples:
During the making of "Cat Got Your Thought," I started hearing
Dizzy the cat's voice in my head. Only in the form of incessant
meowing. Made it very difficult to sleep and I'm not at my
100% if I don't get adequate rest. Made me a bit, well, some
said bitchy. But that's not true at all.
During "Missing Links," I first starting visualizing oversized
sausage links, which is strange because I eat meat only rarely.
Stuck me as phallic, which is fine, really. Then, the sausages
propagated in a Broadway Musical kind of way. Was a bit creepy.
Then I remembered that I could read runes, so I determined
from the "dance" formation that the sausages were in fact
trying to communicate with me. Learned a lot from those "sausies",
as they let me call them.
During "Don't Ghost There" I started hearing the obscenities
that Frank Chapolis was saying to his wife. Only I heard them
in a variety of Romance languages. First in French, then Spanish,
then Italian. Rarely in Portuguese. Did I mention that I am
These are but a few examples. The point is:
I go through a lot to get the story. I'm uber committed, if
you will. I pick subjects that matter, like history or the
stock market or the peaks and valleys of marriage. I know
that if you've read this far, you, too, are a searcher. I
want to be your finder. Read on for to find a portion of The