back to home page crystal the the terrific two

the terrific two

the duo chronicles

the crystal chronicles
don't ghost there
u. f. oh's
cat got your thought?
missing links

home page
what's up doc crew


<< prev ... the crystal chronicles / u. f. oh's ... next >>

"Aliens have a history of substance abuse..."

Dateline: Roswell, NM - 2000

After breaking into the secret files at Area 51 using my psychic abilities, I was prompted to start my second documentary. This time I would tackle the theory that Aliens also have a history of substance abuse and how this related to their constant crash landings on Earth.

It would not be without hardships though . . . much like my first documentary "Don't Ghost There", my crew walked off from production numerous times; which in turn slowed down production and at times I myself had to learn use the camera. (This is how my distinct style of two camera usage between both the given documentary camera man and myself was created . . . and is still used today).

Researching started with civilizations such as the Mayans and the Incas. I also looked into Mesopotamian and Sumerian culture for guidance. Several of these cultures were known for digesting alcohol through their rectum for a faster, more effective "buzz". The first "visitors" from outer space, I believe, adapted this technique. Unfortunately, between the consumption of alcohol and the unavailability of being able to use the controls when busy performing the inebriation ritual passed on by the Mayans, many aliens had either near death experiences or in fact crashed on Earth. This angered the Aliens and in turn the friendship between the civilizations was terminated - along with the Mayans themselves. Through my research and filming I found out that this in fact was the reason why the Mayans practically disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Numerous liquor store clerks were documented both in my notes and on film telling their accounts of Alien contact and how the life-forms would (to this day) come in and purchase large quantities of wine and hard liquors. These credible accounts are the basis for the present investigation into crash sites (mainly found in New Mexico and the surrounding areas).

Crash sites are covered up effectively now (Though the Chicago incident was a historical cover up brilliantly executed by the local government officials) and are written off in the media as: forest fires, large ditches with old metal construction items or government-run test sites/zones for new weaponry. But as you'll see in this gripping documentary the truth is much further from that which has been spoon-fed to we the masses.

"UF-Oh's!"... Aliens Will never seem foreign again.

Note: E-mail me from this site if you wish to be provided with a copy of "UF-Oh's!"